Anyone who knows me at any level immediate thinks “she’s definitely not a conformist” or they will think after a discussion about politics and religion “she’s not a person who fits the box of organized religion”. In fact many of this may be true about me. Heck I’m a corporate working MJ smoking libertarian fiscally conservative peace and love Christian hippie! I don’t conform nor do I submit to everything someone with credentials tells me and most of all I’m not a clear picture when it comes to my faith. You don’t meet me and say ow yes she’s definitely Catholic or buddhist. No, you really get a mixed bag with me. I would say it’s the same the politics but this post is about religion.
I’ve always been drawn to cultish type region. The fact is I seek that strong radical thought. I want to be challenged and I want to be around people who don’t cave to societies norm. I guess that’s why I’m a Mormon. In many ways they’re radical but in other ways they’re just another massive world dominating religion. The thing is I don’t fit the box of a Mormon woman at all. Though I appreciate the leadership in our faith I do not believe they are infallible and the final word. However much I believe in the Prophet of our church I firmly believe that there are others who are Prophets of G_d that walk this earth. There is no doubt I am a Christian who believes in Jesus Christ as my L_rd and Savior. I believe that there were (and still are) others given gifts by G_d to fundamentally change the minds of unbelievers. I believe that there are other faiths and beliefs because G_d himself put them there to challenge our conventional thinking.
There is no doubt in my mind that Jesus was the first and true peace and love hippie.
What I don’t believe is that G_d and his son Jesus wanted organized religion. I believe that he gifted individuals with the power of prophecy but not rule. They wanted a world with many beliefs so that they may challenge each other with a deeper knowledge of the unknown. Seek that which you do not know much is what I believe G_d would instruct us to do. Even beliefs that produce evil behavior should be learned. Why? There is no power like the power of knowledge. The more you know about it the more you can teach pulling them away from evil and more into peaceful loving faith.
Organized religion does not promote peace and love rather it promotes intolerance and judgement. This intolerance and judgement breeds an uncomfortable place for most because immediately they feel like they are being judged. Being judged in the mind equals a feeling of isolation and avoidance. There is no love in casting strong judgement upon others and before doing so be sure your hands are clean. I’m sure no ones hands are that clean to put themselves in the judgement seat. Jesus loved everyone the same and if we are to do as Jesus did why do we set up institutions with leaders whose sole purpose is to judge?
So why do I belong to one of the largest organized religions. I think about this a lot and the only answer I come up with is a desire for structure. Rules give me a sense of stability. As well, I feel like I’m part of a larger family. Honestly a couple years ago I came to the realization that I am not LDS rather I’m a Mormon. I don’t like the idea of being affiliated with the LDS church because they are a massive corporate greed machine. They want nothing more than obedient members who challenge nothing. It’s my nature to challenge and go against the grain. Joseph Smith went against every grain of society. For longer than that I’ve seen myself as a Mystic. I see faith in a multidimensional form. Everything that we think we know that’s black and white isn’t and there are multiple levels of belief that can take one’s mind into a deeper state. That G_d is ever present not just some experience we have rather we are living each day. Everything around us is united one with G_d and that we are present in it all together.
I don’t really know why I continue to put myself in the Mormon box. Maybe it’s because Joseph Smith fascinates me and that in many ways he himself was somewhat of a Mystic. First and most important is that I’m a follower of Jesus Christ. In the end that’s all that matters in this world. Religion shouldn’t define you rather your faith by example should. Spend less time worrying about what some church or it’s leaders think and spend more time reflecting on what G_d thinks. Ultimately you will answer to him in the end.
My Darkside Pleasure 