Time it was and what a time it was, it was
A time of innocence, a time of confidences
Long ago, it must be, I have a photograph
Preserve your memories, they’re all that’s left you
“Old Friends” Simon & Garfunkel
When I listen to the lyrics of this song by Simon & Garfunkel I can’t help but think about all the memories I have and memories yet to be made. Some good… some great… a few terrible but it’s all about what you do with those memories that matters.
The terrible ones can be a thorn in your side if you don’t release yourself from the guilt of it all. There are two mind sets to terrible memories; one being the heavy feeling of guilt that you in some way could have prevented that terrible memory. The second is you simply dismiss it as an event in your life that taught you a lesson for future experiences. There are a couple of events in my past where the first one is definitely prevalent due mostly to the nature of the event. The second falls in the bucket of any other terrible experiences. I learned from them and made sure to never repeat that mistake again. This is how I view my past marriage as to why I’ve gotten to that point of being able to move forward with my life. It’s been a journey but I’ve become a much stronger and determined individual because of it. I know what I will and will not tolerate in an exclusive/marriage relationship.
I just had lunch with a couple of coworkers and it was sad for me to see one going through such a tremendously hard time in her life. I wanted to take all her pain away… but I can’t. Her highly insecure and sensitive self allows for continuous self torture one does when they carry their emotions on their shoulders. She is weighed down with all the hurt and torment in her life. Her husband is out of work, her family is dysfunctional, and she’s very insecure. This has all become a toxic situation that looks like it can blow at any moment. She loves her husband so it’s not that type of issue. No it has to do with money… well the lack of money. Her husband is not a strong man so he hasn’t taken much initiative to find any type of work. With children a home and all the responsibilities that fall under that she has a very valid reason to be stressed and depressed.
I wonder though what takes you over to that point of no longer being depressed and moving into the survival mode. Is it when you hit rock bottom? I look at my own situation and I think it’s when I mentally decide to release myself from the bonds of the issue and instead forge forward with the solution. It’s a moment in your life when you realize that you need to move forward and push yourself through the obstacle. What do you do when your spouse isn’t ready for that part? What if he/she becomes the obstacle? How do you get them on course to move forward?
I think we need to focus on the positive points in our lives. Those memories that are etched into our minds which bring us back to those single moments of granular happiness and joy. Memories are what you make of them. Set your course forward to make more wonderful memories. Let the bad memories keep you aiming for the good ones.
Learn from your past… aim to the future… revisit memories that bring joy back into your life… never hold on to things and people who should be let go… always move forward!
My Darkside Pleasure 